Tuesday, March 28, 2006

"Waste" AVT 1/30/06

The tighter you held me, the further I was – fine sand falling away from a clenched fist

I am a discarded juice pack – wrung of all vital fluids and now useless, shriveled, hollow

Ahh but in high demand back when I was upright and turgid – brimming with nutritious essence to feed your wants – to seed is my wont

Allow me a patch of dirt in that Freedom Garden and behold a germination unprecedented – too late, termination the President said: “Death by tour of duty.”


I am every dead soldier.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Fork in you © AVT

Damn son you're cooked like a ten minute burger - that is to say, done

I'm sure you've been busy having fun but it's time to get in from my burning sun fury

My peripherals be parentheticals: they encapsulate all my visions and guides my predilections to break your fictions

You’ll suffer heat exhaustion with excessive friction between your eardrum and my phoenix fire just go on and retire

Never satisfied I be a poetic glutton or a lyrical gastronome mmm this is good you want some can't have it

To a simple mind like yours my lyrics be complex discrete mathematics

I'm an exegete: "He who explains difficult passages" my audience be privileged passengers your shit be monochrome and tone deaf I'm riding high like Hugh Heff wiff ladies on each arm you stink like stale meatball parm no time to disarm my fire already set off the alarm.

Graphically your verbs look like Picasso threw up onto a game of Pictionary it hurts so bad when I pop you fall down like a dead canary If you had any honor you would go Hari-Kari:

Admit defeat and fall on your blade - commit seppukku or I'll sip a Yoohoo and charge up like Ryu; shout haddukken it's game over.

Red Rover roll over and do such other things as I say and not as I do ‘cause I'm not so sure you can handle my verb foo

Too tired to keep up I think you should lose some of that gut and eat some salad this turned out to be a ballad of all the little ways you are due to pack it up and tuck it in watch it so you don't hit your shins when you bow down and out Plumber's got clout and final say go on punk and make my day.

You feel lucky?

Friday, November 25, 2005

I am living in a dream, or is it a dream I'm living?

She opened up my heart when I wasn't ready to let her in.
I swore I wouldn't go through this again by welding a steel plate around my heart..
but she still found a way to enter. Damn her!
I can't believe I am even speaking to myself again.
I'm throwing myself against the wall, and slapping myself 'til I confess..
Why am I so damn weak? Why am I allowing this to happen to me.. yet again?
I'm Guilty as charged without the need for a jury.. because my peers don't know me,
they're just lonely.

As I turn the other cheek, it doesn't matter..
My face is already numb to the pain because my heart has taken over the show,
and I'm the fool in the spotlight again.
This time, I'll be the one to run the other way. I don't want this. Can't have this!
What potion did I drink that dares bring me back to this familiar place where hurt is the only chaser?
Damaged and ravaged by the savages who took liberty with my innocence, and my trust.
Now I'm left with a shellgame that I was not meant to win because my past sins are starting to catch up.
And yet, she touches me even though I know she has no idea what she is really doing.

I'm gonna pop a vein if I allow her to remain.
The others couldn't compete with the heat of my secrets.
Neither will she.. but this one just doesn't seem to understand..
A broken vessel needs time to heal without the help of a kiss, or a body that just won't quit.
I've had enough of it. Yet I continue to indulge in the lust that lingers as a reminder of my time in solitary confinement. I didn't ask for this.. it just is.
And so, I act out my need, and I feed my addiction which is in constant confliction with my soul.
Who I am is not who I appear to be.
It's the boy inside of me that always drives 'em crazy.
But I am innocent no more.. and yet, she still knocks on the door of my hesitant heart.
What's wrong with her?

I really must be worth something to her if she's still here..
Or have I just hit the lotto with another broken vessel?
Is she a co-dependent freak acting sweet, or an independent soul like me?

Let me see..
I can either wind up with her in heaven.. or spend the rest of eternity without her in hell.
Only time will tell if I learned my lessons well.
Until then, I gotta do something about these tears I keep crying inside whenever I feel love.
The boy may have been stripped of what it is to feel joy.. but the man has grown to understand..
She's not the answer to my problems,
But she just may be the answer to my prayers.
Only God could be responsible for placing her here..
So, what is there to fear?
His choices for me will always be much better than mine.
But I have to admit, giving in has taken me some time.
Doing so allowed love to find me when I wasn't even looking
When I was on the search, I couldn't find a thing..

It's like they say.. Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder..
And what I've come to realize is.. What I be holding is beauty.

It's never too late to grow up.

Glenn Angel

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

For my Lyrical Sanctuary family ..

What I witnessed was a blessed dream that became a reality..
My heart was taken hostage, and was compeled to be moved in so many ways that it was not prepared for.. practically left in a tranzic daze after the dust settled from the explosion of emotions that took place right in front of my face. The Master let His Spirit in and said, "Check this out, son." He brought some angels my way. Some had fallen hard so many times before, but they still decided to come through my open door. They decided to push on through, and prove that God was in our midst. How could I resist? It sort of went like this:

Young voices, seasoned voices, loving voices, tired voices, lonely voices, trembling voices, soft voices, powerful voices, loud voices, deep voices, left with so little choices, but a sanctuary was born out of those voices who cried out, "I matter!"

Why me, Lord? Why us? Could it be You knew we needed this.. needed each other? Did You already know that many of us still need some healing, while we were revealing? I'm at a loss for the right words because what I saw could not compare to what I heard. Sacred verse after sacred verse. Young voices, seasoned voices, loving voices, crying voices.. left with few choices because we did not want to leave.. just believe that.. "I matter." And matter, we do. Matter, we always did. Like a kid looking for approval, I was schooled by a group of humbled souls who were not willing to be hurt and fooled anymore. We matter because we love, and we care.. for others as well as one another. We feel, and we are, most definitely, real. Can't imagine where I would be now had I not experienced this miracle somehow. I matter because I know I am loved. We matter because we love, admire, and support one another.. just as God intended it to be before we even met. A timeless lesson I will not soon forget.. I matter.. I matter.. Thank God.. I matter!

So, what happens now? Is this the end? No, my friends. You see.. that's the best part of this all. God has so much more in store. New doors are being opened for us to walk through, only we are more confident, and better equipped to move all our past obstacles out the way through our new-found faith. We matter.. and whoever gives us an ear will know it. Taking no prisoners, man. Leaving it all out there.. and when the dust settles, I will bear witness to the fruit of this miracle.. and I will take a sweet bite for only to taste what I denied myself for far too long.. I matter.. I matter.. WE MATTER!

Fear shattered. Love re-established and reborn. And now, what do I see for these prophetic, poetic souls and me?
I humbly, yet confidently say this with a grateful heart, and the biggest of smiles..

Endless possibilities................


Glenn Angel

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


The Chocolate Quill Posted by Picasa

Monday, October 03, 2005

What is so Good About Bye?

She hangs up the telephone, as I stand stunned by the scream of the dial tone signifying a new chapter in my life.

Escaping words like steed fleeing gates
play back in my mind like 8 tracks in ¾ rhythms that cannot find their way back.

And yet I do not understand how my quest for happily ever after could end in Billie Holidays blues as I wonder how your love for me nods like old men in boys clothing who just got a hold of some real good shit.

Staring at plastic forks stuck in half eaten shrimp fried rice thinking of times that make me smile at
When the anticipation was unbearable
Too much was not enough
And I could not wait for tomorrow to come
So I could love her again.

She made me prince and freed me from my lily pad of insecurities as something in the back of my mind tells me there is a spot on her skin that I missed.
As I search for music to console me and I think of how the name of scents were determined by the chemistry of her skin and the way she frowns whenever I forget to put the toilet seat down.

If love is true
Set it free
If it comes back
Love is true
Just because you love someone does not necessarily mean you are attracted to them.


Memories of love soaked sheets and hot breezes combined with the comprehension of now and how it will be later
Not knowing that sooner or later that there will be no future.

And although I felt like Donnie Hathaway and wanted to give her a world that was not mine, because all I have for her is a sack full of dreams.

The tide of her love is gone
and the ships of pain dock in my heart
as the sands of my logic await the waves of the reason why.


I consume my days with deceptions and mock smiles in order to keep myself oblivious to time that crawls on it’s hands and knees, because you know how it is when your heart starts talking to your mind about how your mouth made a fool of you.

And my nights are governed by bootleg quiet storms attempting to calm the rough seas of my thoughts as images of me soaking her cocoa skin in my mouth can only let me say
Damn.

Tuesday will come and I will do all that I can,
Not to think about her
Not to call her
Not to speak her name,

God… how mature I have become.

And of course I will fail
As her being in my life has become my language

and if I do not say so myself, I am VERY fluent in her.
Like when her passion makes me speak in tongues and babbles and I translate our emotions into one big long
mmmmmmm.

Gotta cure myself before the weekend.
Don’t wanna miss her twice,
as I still have not figured out
What
is so good
about
GoodBye
Copyright@2003 Luis Bernard

DREAMS

I am a glimmering reflection of her
And therefore I know I love me

At first, my love for her was personal
But, Unsuspecting kisses from her Have now made it universal, Because her smiles are unconditional As the truth needs no proof

Truth,
like, rapid heartbeats when she lays her head on my chest

Proof
Like, 2:55 AM rendezvous leaving me swimming in constellations with me the Big Dipper and she the Milky Way making cuchifrito love, chased with moans, clutched bodies,, unleashed alter egos, wet spots on sheets unraveled from one corner imprinted with your grasp of never have been here before and 1969 chocolate egg creams.

Being away from her gives meaning to time
and maybe it was made for her,
because an hour behind or an hour ahead makes no difference
as an hour away from her is an hour without her as time takes its time.


Thank God for dreams.

Copyright@2003 Luis Bernard